Tuesday, 25 March 2014


This is just a quick post, but I'd love to know other people's thoughts, if they've had this experience.

Interracial dating! 
It's not a biggie to me, I date people, not races, and have done so since before I was natural, since before my hair was relaxed, since before I was even allowed a boyfriend. Trust me, twats come in all shapes, sizes and skin tones, as do gentlemen!

However, when dating white guys.....
The scenario:
Ok so, your hair is officially a raggedy outrage that needs fixing before you and your partner/date/spouse/ (delete as appropriate), that happens to be white, leave the house. This was me the other day. Am I the only one who finds it hilarious when they look at you with your hair in that state and genuinely ask:
"What's wrong with it?" and then state "Your hair looks fine to me."
I'm not talking about when a guy says something just to be kind, but genuinely - as in, they genuinely can't see a problem with the fact that your hair looks like you were dragged backwards through a bush by wolves!
If a picture is worth 1000 words then my thoughts/responses, of which there are many, are best summed below.... 
Closely followed by...

Although these are the thoughts that run through my mind, I tend to simply give a polite, (potentially patronising) smile, and completely dismiss such false reassurances that would otherwise have me out on the streets looking crazy.
Is it ignorance as result of race, because they're white and don't know about black hair; or culture because they're British? Maybe guys from other countries have a better understanding of black hair? Or could it just be a gender thing? Possibly a mix of all the above? Or maybe (skeptical though I am) it's just a case of beauty being in the eye of the beholder?
Please note, the above is not a criticism, just a comment and I'd like to open this question out to anyone who'd care to chime in.
I know there are a lot of other naturals out there in mixed relationships. Is this just the experience of black women with natural hair or do weave wearers experience the same thing? If you're gay, is it the same thing with white women? I'm just wondering.
Am I the only one who's experienced this scenario or had similar thoughts?
Let me know

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thank you for commenting. Keep in touch on Facebook & Twitter @CrystalAfro. xx