He was in the process of complimenting me, stating "You have the coolest hair ever!" while simultaneously reaching out to touch it.I did a subtle tilt and swivel but he succeeded.
It's been a while since I've worn my hair out in a normal, stretched out Afro, as opposed to a defined twistout, so I already had an element of self-consciousness, being aware that the bigger the hair the harder the stare. However, the stare I can handle, and more often than not I'm even cool with people touching my hair, but on this occasion there were a couple of things that crossed my mind:
- I could be wrong but for some reason I don't imagine drunk dudes to have the cleanest hands, therefore I don't particularly want you to touch me anywhere, let alone my hair.
- On the other hand, he clearly didn't mean any harm and I wasn't offended. If anything, I know his intention was to flatter, so was it really a big deal?
I was trying to way up the two lines of thought, as I'm cautious of becoming the sort of person who gets mad about something just because the rest of the world says I should be. When I take a moment to think about it, I know it was the touch of a drunk stranger generally, that I took issue to. I probably would've acted the same if he had gone to touch my shoulder; and, if I was really bothered, I have a voice and I could've used it.
So now I'm torn between another two lines of thought. Would I prefer my big hair to go unnoticed, or do I love the recogntion it gets? After all it is "the coolest hair ever!"
I'd love to know what you think?