Thursday, 9 August 2012

Trying to Compliment #Teamnatural

TRYING TO COMPLIMENT
#TEAMNATURAL
 
I've been meaning to share this little incident with you that happened a couple of weeks ago, and I'd love to know your thoughts.

I received a Natural Lounge Style Card from Angel of TheNaturalLounge.com (one of my favourite and first UK blogs for natural hair that I ever came across) a couple of months ago at Curls Unleashed party.
Natural Lounge Style Cards are simply a way of offering a compliment and encouragement to other ladies you see rocking their natural hair with style. The idea is to pass the positivity on (so you're not allowed to keep the card.) 

Personally I think they're a great way to give someone a positive boost. However, when I tried to pass on the positivity to a teenager out shopping with her friends, who all had weaves or relaxed hair, I think I inadvertently caused offence.
I'd seen the group of girls who were probably in their mid teens, and she was the only one who was natural. Her hair was styled in a kind of quiff at the front and puff at the back and she looked very "en trend". In my opinion she was the perfect recipient of the style card.
I went and gave it to her, but as I walked away I heard the stereotypical-tone of unnecessary youthful attitude from one of her friends who exclaimed:
"Thats Rude! So what, am I not beautiful?"
 I hadn't prepared myself for the fact that me complimenting one person could be taken as an insult to another. I tweeted about it at the time because I felt the friend with the attitude should have been supportive of the fact that her friend was receiving a compliment, instead of criticising the gesture.
Regardless of hair type I think people should celebrate each other more often.
What do you think?
If your friend received a compliment, would you be pleased for her or offended that it wasn't you?
Posted by Crystal Afro at Thursday, August 09, 2012
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6 comments:

  1. Unknown9 August 2012 at 16:21

    Ha! A funny story - if I was out with a close friend and she would receive a compliment I would be happy for her, I would most probably agree with the person too. I would re-compliment her after the person had gone!

    However the friend I'm thinking of, when I met her to hang out and she introduced me to some of her uni friends - they all complimented me on an outfit I was wearing - she however said nothing. Much later on - she asked me what shop did I get my outfit from because she wanted something like it - and I told her. Was that her form of a compliment? I don't know..

    But handing around that card is really a cute gesture and its nice for someone to hear that they look nice - I admire you for going up to a stranger to give her the card.

    Nice post

    Naii xo

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    Replies
    1. Crystal Afro15 August 2012 at 14:01

      I'm with you Naii, if a friend is looking good I want them to know it. Sometimes I worry about going up to compliment a stranger but the cards are a brilliant way to do it.
      Maybe your friend was giving you a silent compliment by asking where you got it from haha xx

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  2. Mide10 August 2012 at 23:14

    Lol, Same as what Naii said- I would be pleased for my friend if she was complimented by a stranger, not rudely proclaim my jealousy, but oh well :P
    I would love to hand out those cards, especially to younger naturals who may feel pressured to straightened.
    Nothing more brightens people's day like a compliment from someone you bumped into in the street! :)

    xx

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    Replies
    1. Crystal Afro15 August 2012 at 14:05

      I agree Mide, I think it can really brighten up your day when you get a compliment. The cards are also available via the Natural Lounge Blog (there's a link above). xx

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  3. Angel14 August 2012 at 15:03

    First of all I am always so happy that people are using the stylecards they really are a way to spread positivity.

    Secondly I would be happy if my friend received a compliment and I didn’t. I would probably echo it as all of my friends always look lovely.

    Its so sad what happened. I think the other girls had a bit of jealousy going on I bet the girl you gave it to has that card at home somewhere though. It really helps us feel good about ourselves when we get a compliment from a stranger.

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    Replies
    1. Crystal Afro15 August 2012 at 14:07

      I love the cards, I think they're a fab way of spreading the some good Karma. My hope is that one day someone I dont even know will randomly give one to me. Can you imagine if the love spreads that far and back again?! That would be fantastic! Lol
      xx

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